by Toddi (Pietro Silvio Rivetta)
The dichotomy between useful and useless, necessary and superfluous, permeates the entire history of european culture and is the subject of reflections ranging from philosophy to art criticism, from poetry to social satire. In a continuous reversal of positions, concepts and lifestyles that are sometimes aesthetic and relaxed, sometimes severe and even spartan, are affirmed. Decoration and ornamentation are fully part of this horizon, and the following lines offer an example of this. They take us back to a forgotten author: the italian journalist, writer, illustrator, and filmmaker Pietro Silvio Rivetta (1886-1952), also known in the 1920s and 1930s under the pseudonym Toddi. A film producer and director with a deep knowledge of japanese language and culture, he published several books of humorous and paradoxical notes, including, in 1931, Apri la bocca e chiudi gli occhi, the first chapter of which we reproduce here. Ironically, Toddi presents the book as “absolutely useless”, in contrast to the banality and obviousness of “useful” things. One of the first examples of usefulness/uselessness with which he supports his thesis is that which sees “decorative art”, useful and therefore negligible, compared with “pure art”, useless and therefore worthy of attention. See Toddi, Apri la bocca e chiudi gli occhi, Cappelli, Bologna 1931, pp. 7-10.
This volume is completely useless, and that is its main merit. We judge something to be all the more valuable the more useless it is.
Iron, copper, and lead will never be precious metals; they are too useful.
Fine art is more valuable than decorative art.
A diamond set in a ring is more valuable than the same diamond at the tip of a glass cutter. Utility demeans it. A dog is truly valuable when it is good for nothing: neither for hunting nor for guarding.
Please consider this volume to be completely useless.
That usefulness is a demerit is also confirmed by insults.
To insult someone, we use words that refer to people, plants, or animals of the utmost usefulness.We call him a “peasant” or a ‘lackey’; while it is not at all insulting to call him a “man-who-lives-off-his-income”.
“Broccoli,” “turnip”, and “carrot” are offensive words because these vegetables are very useful. On the other hand, no one would sue me if I called them “ryegrass” or “downy mildew”.
In the heat of anger, you might call someone a “donkey”, a “son of a dog,” or another very useful animal (in France, a colonial power, they use “chameau”; perhaps the Eskimos say ‘reindeer’), but it would never occur to you to insult someone by calling them a “rat”, “hoopoe” or “praying mantis”, three animals that serve no purpose.
Alcibiades cut off his dog’s beautiful tail to attract the attention of the Athenians.
In fact, after twenty-three centuries, humanity still talks about that tail.
Was Alcibiades wrong, or are twenty-three centuries of humanity wrong?
Herostratus, the famous fool of ancient times, set fire to the temple of Diana in order to immortalize his name.
Was he an idiot?
Everyone knows Herostratus for this, but can you name the architect who built the temple of Diana in Ephesus?
Open your mouth and close your eyes!
While you, dear reader, are in this trusting position, I could make you swallow a strychnine pill.
All the newspapers would talk about it: I would become famous in twenty-four hours.
Thank heaven, dear reader, that I do not aspire to fame.
And move on quietly to the harmless subsequent chapters.
Homepage: Pandolfo Reschi, View of Palazzo Pitti, 1668-69, oil on canvas, 146 x 248 cm, Florence, Palazzo Pitti (www.wga.it).
Below: reproduction of pages 7-10 of Toddi's book, “Apri la bocca e chiudi gli occhi”, Cappelli, Bologna 1931.
